Just Chilli’n!

Kung Fu Panda, Narendra’s cut:
Cut to scene- Oogway is ambling away towards the peach tree, leaning on his staff, with Po tagging behind, eyeing the peaches lying around the base of the tree. Shifu follows cautiously, at a distance, lost in contemplation. Suddenly, a seedling pops up from the ground.

Seedling (exhilarated): “Hey, I’m born!”

Po (puzzled): “Who are you?”

Seedling (proudly): “A chilli seedling sown on January 18th. Just 10 days, and here I am!”

Po (perplexed): “And what is all that shit around you?”

Seedling (pained): “Hey, that’s my food! 60% bed soil, 10% sand, 10% perlite, 10% vermiculture, 10% cow dung manure.”

Po (desolate): “Hmm, I was looking for someone rather more formidable…”

Oogway (sympathetically): Look at this seedling. I cannot make it grow and blossom when it suits me, nor make it bear fruit before its time. No matter what you do, that seedling will grow to be a chilli plant. You may wish for an apple or a peach, but you will get a chilli.

Shifu (intruding): “But a chilli cannot defeat Tai Lung!”

Oogway (calmly): “Maybe it can…if you are willing to guide it, to nurture it. To believe in it.”

Director (exasperated): Cut…cut…cut. What’s this chilli nonsense? It’s all about peaches!

Po (mouth stuffed with peaches): “mmmffhh”

Shifu (apologetically): “Sorry, accidental interlude.”

Oogway wanders off towards the dressing room (muttering purposefully): “There are no accidents…”

– Narendra Nayak © 2021